Marriage is one of
those few life events in which marks a major turning point. Perhaps
meeting that person for the first time is the start of the shift, but
the wedding sort of makes it official, makes it real. So many things
in life change. Here I was, planning to marry Marijke, someone I
knew was right for me, but who I'd also only known for 6 months when we made the decision. Not
only that, but she was from another country, we had never lived
together and I was living in a one room cabin. Honestly, if anyone
else told me they were doing what we were about to do, I'd probably
think they were idiots, but so be it!
Marijke had been
back in the Netherlands for the last 7 weeks, because she had reached
the end of her 1 year visa, but after that time apart she flew back
to Seattle on a new visa and we were hoping to figure out how to
start our life together. We had no idea what to expect and had no
plan yet, just an idea and a desire to be together.
This post will cover
the time from when my (now) wife returned to America, the lead
up to the wedding and the actual wedding ceremony, I hope you enjoy
it.
It was a Tuesday
afternoon when I met Marijke outside baggage claim at SeaTac Airport,
with the van full of lumber, both inside and on the roof rack. I
can't recall what we said to each other at that moment, but it was
wonderful to hold her and be together again, and the nearly two
months apart melted away into irrelevance.
We grabbed lunch and
coffee in Seattle and then headed out of the city, straight to my
family cabin at Snoqualmie Pass. We wanted some quiet time together
without the stress and distraction of other people. Marijke was
really stepping into the unknown on this return to America, not
knowing what would happen next (nor did I), when or where we would
get married or when she may actually return to her home country
again. There was a lot to process at that moment, and most of it was
currently unknown. But the cabin is a great place to process and to
reflect, and we were both grateful to have the opportunity to do that.
We exchanged a few
small gifts, drank some delicious Belgian beer and spent the next
three days sitting on the couch and walking throughout the valley
wondering what would happen next.
Once we had our
alone time, we returned to Seattle where our first stop was to meet
my dad at Kubota Gardens, where he is the head gardener. I hadn't
taken Marijke there yet, so I wanted to show her the place.
That evening we went
to my parents house, where we picked greens from the garden and had a
lovely dinner together. Having a few days to spend in town before
returning to Shaw we visited with family members and even took a tour
of the Boeing airplane factory in Everett which is a pretty amazing
thing to see.
So while Marijke and
I knew we wanted to be together, we had no real idea what that meant
in terms of how to make it happen, being from different countries and
all that. She was here on a tourist visa and had a flight home
booked for the end of that period already. Would we get married in
America or the Netherlands? When? How? How would those decisions
affect where either of us could live? How do we apply for residency
in the others country? Should we apply for a fiancé visa? Do we
need to live together somewhere in Europe first? What about both of
us moving to a totally different country? We had a ton of questions
and no answers. Googling these things is a place to start, but
taking legal advice from strangers on the internet is not a solid
plan. So we had a consultation with an immigration lawyer in Seattle
and considered our options.
Our return to the
island was exciting. Marijke was heading back to the monastery where
she would resume her volunteer work and where we had met (not far
from this main entrance) and while a lot of things were uncertain it
felt like life was full of possibilities and we were thrilled to be
back together.
It was almost June
now, so things on the farm were in full swing. The tomatoes were
only knee high so far, but were growing fast.
The chicks are
starting to look more like mature birds, only in miniature.
David, Marijke's
friend and the other intern at the monastery was getting into bee
keeping and wanted to show off his hive.
Meanwhile, Marijke
was happy to be reunited with her four legged friends.
Back on Shaw
together and armed with some actual facts about marriage and
immigration, we decided we would marry that summer and begin the
immigration process for Marijke to live in America. Along with
David, we kayaked out to a tiny island to watch the sunset and take
some photos together as a way to announce our decision, this is the
photo we choose.
Back home, the bard
owls that had been born earlier were constant companions, and were
great fun to hear and observe in the trees.
Marijke was still
living in the intern housing at the monastery and I of course was
still working on the cabin. Although we began searching for our own
place, I continued working on the cabin and improving it for us to
live in together until something else came along. This is the bed
frame part way through the build.
Working with Jack.
The top log on this entry way needed replacing and using a large
tractor and 6x6 beam chained to the loader, were able to place it on
the uprights and screw it in place. I'd never seen the technique
before and thought it was very ingenious.
The veggies are
looking awesome.
The completed bed
platform (storage underneath) and on the right the start of a closet
to hang clothes.
Visiting with the
sheep at the monastery.
Fire drill, here we
are practicing hooking the tanker truck to the engines and spraying
water into Blind Bay with the deluge guns.
Planting basil (I
think?).
My sister and her
husband happened to be passing through the Seattle area and came up
to Shaw for a quick visit. Marijke gave them a tour, and while we
were walking around we ran into Father Vincent who was busy building
a coffin for one of the not yet dead nuns. A rather strange sight,
haha.
Over on Orcas,
Austen had some cedar to take to a friends saw mill so I tagged along
to see the setup and watch it work.
With the wedding on
our mind, Marijke and I headed off to Friday Harbor via the ferry
boat to apply for our marriage license. It is an hour long ride from
Shaw, but it is always scenic.
Which one were we
here for again? After a little bit of thought, we decided we would
get married in early July, a date that was coming up FAST.
Translucent flowers
popping out of moist soil. One of the things I love so much about my
outdoor lifestyle is the constant change happening around you at all
times. Keep your eyes open and there is always something new and
interesting to find and observe.
Back at the cabin
having Michael over for dinner. Shortly after, I think I finally
ordered a larger table…
Farm day again,
prepping new beds and getting ready for planting.
Sunset from Ben
Nevis, the highest part of the island.
One thing I really
need in life is diversity and the opportunity to be creative.
Luckily my jobs provide that. No two days are alike and this day was
even better than usual; I was told to grab a chainsaw, go into the
woods, cut whatever I wanted and make a 'Lord of the Rings style
entry gate.' I had a lot of fun walking through the forest, finding
and cutting down just the right cedar trees, and building it.
With the wedding
just about two weeks away at this point, we still need rings and
something to wear. Lacking any real options in the islands of course
we returned to Seattle and found just what we needed. For rings we
decided on extremely simple gold bands (and I'm extremely pleased
with how comfortable mine is) and Marijke found a beautiful
blue/white summery dress after much searching. Once she had picked
that dress, I simply walked downstairs in the same shop in the mall
and bought a blue shirt. Men's clothes are so easy.
Seattle in the
evening, from dinner on the water in West Seattle with my aunt and
uncle who helped us with rings and clothes. Thanks!
But enough time in
the city, it was time to get back to work, that ground wasn't going
to till itself!
Sometimes it's
amazing how still Blind Bay is…
And other times that
stillness is shattered by the roar of a large chainsaw and the crash
of a massive fir. This particular tree had a huge lean, was rotten
on the inside and had to be removed to make way for new building
construction.
That particular job
was on Obstruction Island, a tiny spot with something like 12 year
around residents. To work there, we carried all of our gear onto the
water taxi that drops you off right on the beach itself, cut trees
for a few hours and then met the boat again to take us back to Orcas
where our truck was parked. A pretty cool commute!
Every afternoon,
this is the scene out my window.
By now the busiest
time of year on the island was here, the annual Independence Day
celebration! Along with it came tons of our friends, and hundreds of
other folks to the island. For this one weekend, the population
probably quadruples at least! As always, the festivities began with
the BBQ at the community center.
Inside the fund
raising auction was taking place. I actually donated a half days of
tree work to the event, and it became one of the highest priced items
of the event!
Once we all had
our fill of hot dogs and beans it was back to the property where a 100
foot long slip-and-slide had been constructed.
Another view of what
was an excellent party.
To wind down in the
evening, a projector was brought out and everyone watched the only
approprite movie for the 4th of July weekend, Independence
Day!
The next day was the
parade, and as usual the fire department took part. We are no longer
using the ancient Chevy tanker truck I'd driven in the last two
parades, so I drove one of our new engines instead, with Marijke as
my passenger.
The parade going
from the community center to the county park. A short but fun route.
Marijke and my
biggest fans were out in force watching us drive by in our shiny fire
truck.
The annual softball
game.
And games back on
the farm.
With all the friends
up, might as well put them to work! It was time to harvest the
garlic and once it was pulled from the ground, it was carried inside
the hoop house to begin curing.
The end to a
wonderful weekend of celebration, fireworks from Friday Harbor.
As always, we went to the preserve where you can watch the Friday
Harbor show, then turn your head and watch Lopez right after.
Harvesting colorful
carrots.
We were a day away
from our wedding and to both of our surprise, Marijke's mother and
father were able to fly to America for the event! So we drove all
the way to Seattle to pick them up and turned right around, bringing
them to Shaw. Marijke's mom had been to the island before, visiting
before she and I had met, but Marijke's dad had never been to
America. It was wonderful they were able to make it on such short
notice, and it meant a lot to Marijke to have them at the ceremony.
On the day of the
wedding my parents arrived from Seattle, my sisters from Alaska and
Montana and my brother and his wife from California. We all met up
at the monastery guest house where Marijke had been living as an
intern and then headed out to the preserve to have the ceremony.
For the site of our
wedding ceremony (with prior permission from the property caretakers)
we chose the Cedar Rock Preserve, a place that is important to both
of us. The preserve is the largest piece of publicly accessible land
on the island at 370 acres, is a place Marijke spent a lot of time
walking, sitting and thinking when she first came to America, and is
the place we first kissed, just 8 months earlier. Now here we were,
getting married on that exact same spot.
My beautiful wife.
Our tiny wedding
ceremony, standing under the trees, on mossy rock and overlooking the
water and surrounding islands.
It's official!
This was the entire
wedding party: my parents and siblings with one spouse, Cathy, the
mother of one of my best friends who preformed the ceremony, Marijkes
parents, two nuns from the monastery, and two of Marijke's friends,
one of whom was taking the photos.
It was small, short
and simple, but we thought it was perfect.
I'm trying not to
bore people with too many wedding photos, but this one is pretty
great…
After the ceremony
on the beach we returned to the monastery for the reception, a larger
event with a wider group of Shaw Islanders. We had a ton of help
putting the event on, the nuns did a wonderful job of setting up and
hosting the reception, and Andy, one of the islanders, made our
delicious carrot wedding cake.
Speech, speech,
speech!
Friends and family
sharing in a toast.
Me and my siblings,
after today we are all married. (Sorry your eyes were closed Brian!)
After the reception,
the immediate families walked on the ferry to Orcas, where we had a
nice dinner at the Orcas Hotel and that night Marijke and I got a
lovely room in the hotel overlooking the ferry landing..
The next morning, we
had breakfast , talked about how weird (in a good way!) it was that we got married and walked back on the ferry to Shaw as newlyweds.
As usual, there was
a lot of stress leading up to the wedding for various reasons, but it
all went off without a hitch and we agreed it was a perfect day.
During the next few
days we spent time with Marijke's parents who were on the island a little
longer, went to Seattle yet again on a day trip to sign papers with
our immigration lawyer and simply spent time together as husband and
wife.
Once all that was
taken care of, it was time for the step that most people usually do
long before marriage: move in together! Because she was still
interning at the monastery farm she had been living there, it was a
practical decision rather than a 'traditional' one to not live
together until marriage, but once we were married it was silly to be
apart. So Marijke packed up her few possessions and moved in with
me, to the one-room-with-a-loft 270 square foot cabin I built, to
begin our life together!
===========================
I'm so far behind on my
blog it's been about 7 months since all of this happened. Looking
back, it is very amusing, because it's so clear to me just how
little we actually knew each other! And I don't mean that in a bad
way, we knew we wanted to be together, we had all the same life
goals, we felt a rock solid connection, but we hadn't built the
connections that come from the little things in a relationship, the
things that only come with time and experience together. Today I'd
say we have succeeded in every way and then some, we are more right
for each other than I'd even realized back then and our life together
is even better than I thought was possible. It isn't always the
case, but sometimes risks pay off big. Life with Marijke is great.
Thanks for reading,
I hope you enjoyed it. The next post will cover the rest of the
summer: fun things like the start of our life living together, getting a little boat, more cool tree stuff and actually moving into
a real house!
